Big blots & little blots

bath blot

Good Morning everyone!! Today I woke gently, drifting between here and there as I hung out in the shallows for a while, enjoying the waves of dreams that gently washed over me. Eventually the day seeped into my consciousness with all it’s plans and responsibilities, so I stretched my full length and grabbed a robe to make my way downstairs for coffee.

Another dull, grey, day greeted me as I smiled gratefully at my knight in shining armour, aka my coffee machine, and the rich, dark elixir hissed into the mug. As I sat on the sofa contemplating the clouds in my coffee, the sun emerged to bounce off geraniums on the window sill, and sparkle generously, a reminder that spring, like hope returns eventually. After breakfast I practiced my presentation, I’m still nervous but I think I’m improving. One of my biggest stumbling blocks is that when I make a mistake talking to myself, it’s too tempting to stop and start again, rather than talk my way through it. Of course we all make mistakes, and in normal conversation our thoughts seem to fit the speed of our speech, but as I practice my presentation I realize they race ahead and panic.

I took a break to run a hot bath and lay amidst oils of lavender, ylang ylang and petigrain, I thought about other mistakes I have made and how to carry on. We can’t always fix everything that gets broken, but we can admit our faults and change direction. Then there are times when the mistakes seem to dominate a situation, like a big blot of ink on a page of otherwise neat handwriting. Some blots we can live with, small errors that illustrate our authenticity; others seep too deeply into the paper and mar the work that we’re proud of. Sometimes we just have to recognise that the big blots are too distracting, and it’s worth screwing up that particular piece of paper and starting again. Of course this doesn’t apply to the presentation I’m practicing, but there are some mistakes I’ve made that are too big to ignore, and the lovely thing is, there’s a beautiful blank sheet of paper waiting, and I’m ready to begin!

I hope you have a gorgeous day, whatever you’re up to, and that you don’t let the little errors upset you, but also that you realize you don’t have to live with the big ones. Sometimes life has a funny way of letting us know when it’s time to move on, and maybe that dirty, great, ink blot happens to be one of them.

{Photo sadly uncredited, via Pinterest}

Good morning : ))

am glam

Good morning everyone!! Today I woke early, too early, and lay in the twisted sheets hoping sleep would reclaim me, back to the depths of oblivion where nothing matters so it’s easier to see how we are, really. I listened to my breath, trying to quiet my brain, before I realized that it was my heart I was hearing, and sighing sent love to those I care about, before getting up to greet the morning. I wrapped up in a robe and descended the stairs in search of coffee; a hug in a mug to compensate for sleep deprivation, and gratefully inhaled the rich aroma that filled the kitchen. I sat in the half-light with my latte, snuggled on the awesome sofa watching the sun rise, as a golden glow gently crept up the sky. Hints of amber highlighted the wisps of clouds that streaked across the horizon, and smiled beautifully at the dawning day, a warm light cast through the window settling on the bookcase momentarily, before a paler whiter light followed, and an opaque blanket of palest grey settled as a backdrop beyond the rooftops and bare branches of the trees by my home.

I lit some cheerfully fragranced candles and ran a hot bath, laced with reviving oils of grapefruit, juniper and rosemary to soak away the fatigue clinging to my temples. I let my mind wander down familiar paths in my heart, noticing details in the pictures committed to memory, a reminder of how much we unwittingly communicate without words, and smiled at recollection. I had a hearty bowl of porridge for breakfast and busied myself with patient notes in preparation for work, then dressed quickly in a black dress and prepared for clinic. I’m looking forward to seeing colleagues after the Christmas break, and am keen to see my patients’ progress as well as their New Years motivation.

I have an extra treat today too, an old friend visiting from Florida is calling in for afternoon tea, to share news of her new marriage and business, life is full of surprises! I hope that you are looking forward to going back to work too, I feel very privileged that I do what I love for a living, and although it wasn’t easy, and is still a work in progress, the transition from my previous career certainly feels worth it. I guess if you’re not doing something you love then the new year is a good time to change direction, and if you are, be brave it might be difficult, and the path might not be immediately clear, but I believe that if you follow your heart, you won’t regret it ♥ Time for me to rush and get ready, I’m going in early to meet a friend for lunch, and popping by Selfridges to pick up some coffee.. oh the sales are still on? Really!! ; )) Wishing you a wonderful day! Blessings & love, Hxx

Good morning – 27th Dec 2012

tin houses

Good morning everyone!! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and made happy memories wrapped in love. This morning I woke late, and lay listening to the rain again; as it drummed on the roof and splashed in puddles. It has been a rather rainy Christmas here in London, which somehow makes it cosier inside as the spiced plum fragranced candles flicker amidst the decorations. We did get absolutely soaked on our Boxing Day walk yesterday, with wet hair plastered to our faces as the rain trickled down our necks and soaked our clothes, but it made the warmth of home and hot baths more appreciated. As dear ADS says ‘there is no bad weather, just inappropriate clothing’ of which we were guilty.

Today when I eventually emerged from my cosy nest, I savoured the quiet as I sat on the awesome sofa, watching the rain bounce off the windowsill, wrapped around my steaming latte. I have had a relaxing few days and slept like an angel, feeling peaceful and content, so that now I feel rested and refreshed. I stretched and remembered some yoga LS has taught me, connecting with some forgotten and neglected parts of my body, opening my chest and testing my hamstrings. The rain continues to fall, steadily and persistently, but that’s absolutely fine with me as it’s a perfect day to head to the gym, and I’m looking forward to running along the beach in my head, as I plug into my ipod and sunny memories.

I hope that you have a beautiful day, whatever you’re up to and that the Christmas spirit continues to encourage you. Blessings & a whole heap of love ❤ Hxx

Good morning Christmas eve

sheet

Good morning everyone! Today I woke early, way too early (5ish) and lay in the darkness listening to the rain as it cascaded from the heavens, drumming on the roof and splashing in the puddles. There is something terribly soothing about the rain, especially in the dark, but more especially when you’re tucked up in a warm and cosy duvet with the cool side of the pillow that smells faintly of lavender. I listened and prayed, sending love to all of those I care about, and time ticked away, but sleep eluded me. After an hour or so I got up, wrapping up for coffee by candle light as I curled up on the sofa, inhaling the Christmassy fragrance of spiced plum, and watched the flickering flame illuminate the decorations. The decorations have been accumulated over the years, each carrying a memory of a Christmas past, or the person that gifted it, or the shopping trip I found it. I smiled at the clouds in my latte, savouring the peaceful moment, as if I have the world to myself whilst everyone else is sleeping. I thought about friends in different time zones, and realize that in parts of the world children will soon be getting ready for bed and waiting for Santa, my niece in Tokyo included. I smiled at the memories I have of my Dad trying to calm my sister and I as we lay in bed waiting for a glimpse, as the mince pie and brandy sat by the fireplace.

I ran a bath, laced with revitalizing oils of bergamot and juniper, writing a list to keep me on track (love a list!), folding laundry as the tub filled and wondering about friends in different time zones. Then I sank in the steamy deep pool of bliss to soak away the fatigue and let the oils work their magic. Precious moments of calm before the busy day I have waiting, visiting friends and the last minute preparations. So as I sit with my breakfast, watching the light change, waiting for sunrise, I’m wishing you a delightful Christmas eve, and hope that you find a few moments to reflect and savour it too ❤ Happy Christmas everyone! Blessings & love, Hxx

{Photo sadly uncredited, via Pinterest}

Good morning tea

Good morning everyone!! It is a beautiful start to the day in London, one of those crisp fresh days with beautiful blue skies that let’s the sun twinkle on the frosty roof opposite and in the branches of the trees, magical! The temperature has definitely dropped a few degrees on the last day or so, and it’s starting to feel rather wintry. It’s a pretty day, cool and sparkling, and it puts a smile on my face.

I woke gently, slowly realizing my presence as I was swept up on to the shore of consciousness, and snuggled for a few moments in the warmth of the duvet; delicious in contrast to the chill in the air (I should adjust the radiators, but actually I like the contrast). I made some coffee and sat for a while on the sofa, just admiring the blue sky, and the pools of light that spill through the windows when the sun shines between the odd fluffy white cloud. It was so peaceful, and I felt that moment last more than the time it took, if you will understand that savouring sentiment. I ran a hot bath with refreshing oils of grapefruit and rosemary, and soaked away the remaining fatigue, before wrapping up in a robe for breakfast.

I’m glad the weather is kind today, I’m meeting a friend near Green park for tea (her) coffee (me) this morning, on the way to clinic. HB is a fellow nutritionist and we’re celebrating her new job, but she’s also arranging a wedding, so we have plenty to catch up on. We’re meeting at Starbucks, but I’m taking her to The Ritz for tea, after all it’s right there on the opposite side of the road, and the Christmas decorations are on display, it would be a such shame to miss them, n’est-ce pas?! So I’m rushing to get ready, I don’t want to be late! Wishing you all a wonderful day, and hope there’s a little glamour you can squeeze in somewhere too! Blessings & love, Hxx

{Photo: Tea at the Ritz, London, sadly uncredited}

Good morning!

Good morning everyone! Today I woke late, still tired after a late night, fighting off the fatigue that tethered me to slumber, as I pushed back the duvet and stretched my legs, pushing my toes into the cool brass of the bedstead. I got up for coffee, wrapping up in a soft robe against the chill in the air, and pushed my hands through ‘messy hair’ as I descended the stairs for the coffee.

It was a fairly grey start to the day here in London, but there was a softness, a beauty in that opaque light that gently caught the dew on the geraniums on the window sill. Those soft delicate petals belying their hardiness, resilient and proud, though their leaves are withering, as the green become mixed with yellow, upon a bed of curled up brown, brittle and fragile. I took my coffee into the lounge, where the pale honey colours are warm and comforting, and sat on the awesome white sofa, to contemplate my feelings.

I’m feeling rather tired, and a headache threatens at my temples and behind my tired eyes, a reminder of some changes I need to make; getting to bed earlier would be a good starting point! I ran a steaming hot bath, laced with oils of bergamot and juniper to lift my energy, and soaked decadently until I realized the day was slipping away. I have rather a lot of paperwork to catch up on, some important patient notes at the top of the list, and an exciting creative project I’m ready to delve into. So I breakfasted on a large bowl of porridge with pear, cinnamon, and a generous dollop of Greek yoghurt, before getting lost for a while in correspondence.

Feeling a little rejuvenated, it seems the sun is too, as it sneaks through the clouds occasionally, inspiring me to venture out in the cool fresh air and breathe in deeply this day that will never come again. So I made a pact, to address the most important paperwork with a second latte, over the road at the café where the baristas always make me smile with their happy banter in a mix of English & Italian. Then I’m going to walk up through the village, to wander on the Heath, observing the seasonal changes amongst the meadows and woodland, count my blessings, and dwell in possibility. I hope that you have a beautiful day too, and find some way to make time to listen to your heart and check where it’s leading you. Some directions aren’t easy to follow, but if we keep paying attention, we’ll find our paths, and the courage to follow them ♥ Blessings & love, Hxx

Good Morning!

Good morning everyone! Today I woke late, gently drifting between dreams and wakefulness as I lay at the shoreline. I let the waves playfully engulf me then watched them recede, each time feeling the sandy beach become more solid beneath me. Eventually I shifted my gaze from the glittering water and found my iphone somewhere on the floor behind me, bearing the news that the time to get up was an hour ago. I stretched my legs to push my toes into the brass of the bedstead, before swinging them round to sit on the side of the bed and roll my neck, before grabbing my robe and descending the stairs in search of coffee.

I greeted the day with its blue skies with white fluffy clouds with a smile, as the light filled the house with cheerfulness, and sat with my latte on the awesome sofa to contemplate the day. Faced with two choices between responsibilities and the utterly irresponsible, today I chose the former, so I can be reckless tomorrow, and I ran a hot bath infused with oils of bergamot and rosemary to wash away the fatigue clinging stubbornly around my eyes. I lay for a while wondering about an idea I have been mulling over for a little while, daring myself and weighing up the consequences as I stared at my feet resting on the taps. And I wondered how keeping our ankles out of hot water makes us feel cooler, probably something to do with the veins near the surface; before sinking my head below the surface to listen to my heart.

My heart is longing for adventure, and shows me great pools of potential that I have yet to dip my toe in, it laughs at my hesitancy, since some things aren’t ‘if’ but ‘when’, and the thought thrills me as courage sits and grins, patiently. I emerged from the water, letting the weight of wet hair pull my head back before sitting to wipe my eyes and see my dreams in the steam, before catching a glimpse of the huge clock on the landing. Time is ticking by and waits for no-one, so today I’m acknowledging the process that precedes the chaos I’m considering, and rushing to get ready for work, and a sensible day.

I do hope that your day is beautiful, and that if you’re being sensible too, that it’s only a temporary phase you’re going through, because life is too short anyway! Blessings & love ♥ Hxx

Good morning!!

Good morning everyone!! Today I woke with a heaviness that pinned me to the mattress, and tried to drag me back to the depths of a dream from which I struggled to emerge, kicking furiously towards the light, fighting my way into consciousness. I lay for a while, noticing my body; rocks in my abdomen and limbs full of lead, whilst a thick fog swirled around my head. The gossamer threads of the dream slipped through my fingers, and letting go made space for thoughts of the day to crash in, ‘must do’ items on my list and responsibility. A peek at the clock, still a novelty since an iphone had replaced several generations of Blackberries, informed me that it was indeed too late to contemplate a lie in, with a message plastered across the screen from a jet-lagged friend. I fell back into the plethora of pillows, staring at the ceiling, but seeing vapour trails across a bright blue sky as my heart leapt at the slightest encouragement. Then I remembered a gift from a colleague yesterday, a ‘gone to the beach’ sign from dear RO, which made me smile as I hung it temporarily on my clinic room door. The clinic is in London, but they know me well, and where my heart is happiest.

I made my way downstairs for coffee, grabbing my robe and laptop to snuggle on the sofa with my latte as I check through correspondence. A breeze tickled the trees outside my window, and I noticed the golden hues are creeping down the branches, as the greenery now fades in the lower boughs, and tinges of copper tint the highest. I ran a hot bath, adding drops of grapefruit, rosemary and juniper to revive me, and sank under the surface to listen to my heart as fatigue seeped out of me. I love bathing, and this morning as I soaked my thoughts flew to the most beautiful bath I’ve had, over a decade ago in Bali. The bath was in a beautiful garden amidst the rooms of a decadent suite, overlooking the valley of rice fields, vibrant green, and lush, extending far into the distance. A clever design preserved the bather’s privacy, and fragrant bowls of tuberose scented the air, whilst delicate frangipani flowers floated on the surface. The bath itself was set within a pond, accessible only by stepping stones, so that I sank into the soothing water as jewel coloured fish swam nonchalantly amidst the lotus flowers surrounding me. It would have been a fabulous place for a honeymoon, but it was absolutely the best place for a broken heart; and I smile in gratitude for the fact that was ‘just an extravagant holiday’ and that the ticket and passport remained in my maiden name, as indeed did I. .

So as I dash to dress for my afternoon clinic, I’m reminded again to trust life a little, since when I didn’t go the way that I wanted, it was because something far better was waiting to happen; if I would only let go of what I thought I deserved, to be rewarded with blessings beyond my imagination. And I smile again as I appreciate how resilient the heart is. Wishing you all a wonderful day, and hope that you too realize that so often we limit ourselves with our aspirations, and really we all should dream a little bigger darling! Mwah! Love & blessings ❤ Hxx

Good Morning!

Good morning everyone!! Today I woke early, too early, to the sound of rain drumming on the roof, and bouncing off the window sill. I lay still in the darkness listening, and felt as if each heavy drop were pinning me to the mattress, unable to move as it persistently hammered down, thrashing the trees. Sleep soon reclaimed me, and when I woke again several hours later the silence surprised me, the downpour had ceased completely and I fought the urge to slip back into dreams again. Tempted to return to that state where everything makes sense and nothing feels undone or broken.

I got up for coffee, the anticipation of a comforting soy latte, tempting me out from the snuggly duvet, and wrapping a robe tightly around me, descended the stairs to open the door and greet the day. I stood for a moment, breathing in the rainy fragrance, and letting the breeze that rustles the leaves tickle my face, as I smiled at the sky. It’s a beautiful autumnal morning, and the sun slips through the clouds to illuminate the trees that stand majestically next to my home.

I ran a hot bath, a soaked for a while in aromatic oils of jasmine and geranium, contemplating my life and the paths I’ve chosen. I’m starting to listen to advice friends keep giving (stubborn, moi? ) and gradually trusting the creative process to guide me in a new direction. Sometimes I wish I was more easily satisfied, but I know that the struggles I face are part of a process, to guide and shape me. I’m determined to make my life count, and whilst I’m trying to figure out how, I guess I’m becoming the person who can achieve it. Fingers crossed .

Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to the day, I have a lunch scheduled with my friend and colleague DC, (since we don’t seem to cross paths often enough despite only living around the corner from each other). I have plenty of paperwork to be getting on with, and know I’ll feel better once it’s finished, and several patients I’m looking forward to seeing. So I’m going to wish you a beautiful day, and get ready for work, and smile at the possibilities.. anything could happen! Love & blessings, Hxx