The ebb & flow of love

Nikki, Montalivet, France

When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom. ~Leo Buscaglia

{Photo credit: Jock Sturges, Nikki, Montalivet, France}



I wish ..
I wish I was braver.
I wish you laughter.
I wish it were simple.
I wish I understood more.
I wish everyone had dignity.
I wish your dreams come true.
I wish I could make things better.
I wish you happiness in your heart.
I wish you someone special to love.
I wish you courage in the darkness.
I wish broken hearts mended quickly.
I wish you could see the opportunities.
I wish you knew you are truly beautiful.
I wish that the world was a kinder place.
I wish you gentleness when life is harsh.
I wish people smiled more & grumbled less.
I wish I had a magic wand to right the wrongs.
I wish that you knew how much you mean to me.
I wish that people could see beyond insecurity to appreciate beauty.
I wish you love..

Hayley Darby ©2011

I am often asked about this post, and just found it! So sorry for the delay for everyone who requested it! ♥ Hxx

{Photo sadly uncredited, via Pinterest}


kiss bench

Love isn’t practical or rational or sensible or convenient.. in fact it’s often rather disruptive and awkward and if you’re really lucky it turns your world upside down and inside out and gets you into all sorts of trouble, none of which really matters of course, when you’re in love. You know it’s love when it’s at least slightly insane, completely ridiculous, totally inappropriate. It often seems to happen when it’s least expected, when life really doesn’t need any more complications or extra stuff that needs figuring, especially all those feelings of fear and vulnerability that accompany the faster heartbeat and weakness at the knees. It can cause you to stumble and question all the other aspects of your life that you thought were important, and you may wonder why suddenly all that seemed so clear and gave you direction, starts to feel uncertain and full of elements requiring procrastination. Chances are you’ll fall for someone who’s not at all ‘your type’, who doesn’t come close to meeting the criteria you thought was important, and who fails to tick most of those boxes, even if you didn’t realize you had any. Someone who at first didn’t seem like a threat to your sanity, will find a way to your heart when you weren’t paying attention, simply because your defences were down and let you be yourself rather than the persona you think will be more attractive. They will be the reason you are distracted, lose your appetite, can’t wipe the dirty big grin off your face or sleep at night. When life throws you this particular curve ball and you’re feeling unsettled and unsure, I want you to know that nothing is certain, except that love is what we’re here for, whether we’re being knocked over by it, or we’re struggling to survive it, or our hearts are bleeding, or we’re hoping, somewhere we’re afraid to admit, that it will happen again. Love can grow and evolve, and as it develops it’s strength lies in its ability to shine in the dark, and brighten up the ordinary. Because love isn’t all roses, or easy, or even logical, but it is the most important thing. The most wonderful thing that will happen to you in your lifetime will be love, in one form or another, be brave, embrace it, take any chance you have for it! Here’s some love from me to send you in the right direction : )) Happy Valentines day ♥ Hxx

{Photo sadly uncredited, via Pinterest}

…and if the music is good you dance!

…and if the music is good you dance. ~Unknown

I have a not-so-secret guilty pleasure, I love to passionately bop around the house to ‘old skool’ tunes thanks to a favourite radio station that dedicates an hour to my teenage memorabilia, every day. It can interrupt my productivity, delay the day’s chores, and plaster a great big dirty grin right across my face as I shamelessly get my groove on. There are many routes to happiness, but I like to think of dancing as a short-cut, it’s always a mood booster. I wonder whether your coffee table is a secret podium in disguise too? ; )) Hugs & happy moves, Hxx

{Amazing photo by Jacob Holdt, Music-Kisstory (11am-12pm) @}


Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. ~Stephen R. Covey

Listening is such an important and under-rated skill IMO, listening is a gift and an art, one that should be practiced and appreciated. When we truly listen, we don’t just receive words and information, we GIVE attention, acknowledgement, and value to the speaker, respectfully hearing them. Let’s listen more, and maybe we will learn better communication ♥ Hxx

Words unsaid

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

I think for me it’s the things I wish I’d said but didn’t quite manage to utter; those words that stuck in my throat for fear of being quickly dismissed, or simply glossed over, or stared at sorrowfully, or even smiled at pityingly; but that still meant what they would have said.

Those words that were afraid to cause pain or distress, yet held within them a truth unconfessed. Those words that might have been a soothing balm, yet were too afraid in case they were the cause of harm. Those words that wanted to ring clear and true, amid the mists obscuring the view.

Those words that wanted to fly up my throat, force through my tonsils, slide down my tongue and quickly escape, leaping to expression; yet were imprisoned securely, incase they were a mistake. They stuck in my teeth momentarily biting my tongue, before slinking away to from whence they came, sliding back down to my heart, to wait patiently, for another chance.
~ Hxx

{Picture sadly uncredited via Pinterest, Words ~Hayley Darby 31.Aug.2012}


I want first of all… to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact–to borrow from the language of the saints–to live “in grace” as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony. I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for in the prayer from the Phaedrus when he said, “May the outward and inward man be one.” I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God.
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

{Picture sadly uncredited via Pinterest}

Our stories

We all have a story we will never tell..

Some are too painful, some are just ridiculous, some we are ashamed of, and some don’t seem to matter. Yet all our stories create us through the experiences we’ve weathered, the lessons we’ve learned, and the characters we met along the way may or may not realise the impact they’ve had upon our existence. Maybe we should tell more stories, to share that we’re not alone in our struggles, to extend the encouragement we have found along the way to becoming who we are, and the hope of where we intend to go. Life is a struggle, but we’re here to help each other, and maybe our stories are just another way we can hold out our hands. Love & blessings, Hxx

{Picture sadly uncredited, via Pinterest, words ~Hayley Darby 1.Nov.2012}