Pictures

Me 1974

Happy Monday everyone!! This morning the day greeted London with blue skies and sunshine, that slipped under the blind and pulled me from my reverie. I’m not sure what I was dreaming of, but the feeling of discontent was difficult to shed in wakefulness, and it took some time, and a second cup of coffee to find the motivation required to address the busy ‘to do list’ that’s been waiting all weekend. I sat at my desk, and surveyed the books and papers, searching for inspiration, wondering where the answers to my dilemmas are hiding.

I have a photo in my office, a treasured memento; clients often enquire whether it’s my daughter, or perhaps a niece, but the little girl with her hair brushed in bunches, smiling at the camera, is me circa 1973. It’s one of my earliest memories, taken at playschool (kindergarten) and is a reminder to not let studying/work eclipse play too frequently. Today my younger-self seems to sigh and question why it’s so difficult being a ‘grown up’; making decisions, shouldering responsibility, and I wish for a moment that I could warn her not to embrace it too eagerly, to enjoy the freedom and simplicity a little longer.

I have a lot going on at the moment, and it seems exhausting juggling disappointments and realizations, opportunities and obligations; and I wished for a moment that I could escape it, that choosing which was my favourite picture in the book the photographer had given me, was again the only thing I had to worry about. Then I realized, it is still that easy actually, except the pictures aren’t printed, we have to draw them, not with pencils or crayons, but our choices and actions; and that creating the life we want isn’t about what it’s supposed to look like, but letting our imaginations run wild with the colours available.

Suddenly being the grown up version of the little girl in the photograph isn’t so daunting, life is a much bigger canvas than she could have imagined, and there are seemingly unlimited colourful possibilities. There are still decisions to be made and a myriad of complicated questions, but the answers are where they have always been (in her heart), and she knows where to look for them, when she’s patient enough to remember anyway. I hope you have a beautiful week, and that a snapshot of now will be a motivation in your future : )) Blessings & love

{Photo: Me circa 1973} © 2013

Spring awakening

kimono

Good morning everyone!! Today I woke early, rapidly rising to the surface from the dreamy depths, carrying vignettes of my reverie, like a million tiny bubbles rising with me, but bursting as they surfaced. I lay on the pillow, observing the thoughts already running round my head, my dream it seems was working through some aspects of sadness, and I watched my heart in the absence of anger and frustration, quietly bleeding. Sometimes we just have to accept where we are, and what we’re feeling, and be grateful for the learning. This gives us an opportunity to notice that the place we are at is just the starting point for a new journey, and that if it wasn’t a little uncomfortable we wouldn’t be tempted to take the necessary steps in the right direction. We are all just living our stories, and some things have to happen to put us on the right path again, with a kindly reminder to ‘dream a little bigger darling’.

I stretched and smiled at the sunlight pushing at the curtains, taking a deep breath of the day, enchanted by its gentle encouragement and budding potential. I made some coffee and sat watching the sky for a while, as clouds shifted to reveal chinks of blue and let the sun shine through, when I felt the light tickle my skin. I have been impatient and anxious for spring to arrive, and now that it’s here with all it’s hope and promises, I realize that the winter’s discontent has been preparation for the plans I have, and I am grateful in retrospect. As I stand here wondering how to make the next step happen, the answers are simple and at the same time complicated; let go and trust, and just keep focusing on the step ahead. Spring rewards our resilience with signs of progress, and reminds us that summer will be here soon enough; meanwhile it’s time to appreciate where we are, to live in the moment, enjoy the potential and notice the opportunities blossoming. Have a gorgeous day everyone, mine involves more decorating, and colours are changing : )) blessings & love ♥ Hxx

{Photo sadly uncredited, via Pinterest; words by Hayley Darby © 2013}