Heart broken gratitude

Today my heart broke, and I was grateful.

Today as I lay in the bath I let my mind float, somewhere not far, but far enough, and my heart broke over a memory; a glimpse of the past that forever altered my future, and I was grateful for the painful truth, that turned into a blessing.

Today I met a friend on the way to work, he looked lost and admits heโ€™s troubled; my heart broke as I hugged him and the wind swept leaves along the pavement oblivious; and I was grateful I was running late so had chanced upon the meeting.

Today my heart broke again, for someone I care about deeply, someone whose life had been twisted and torn by an accident that has mutilated his body and scarred his face, and I am grateful for his beautiful, strong, enduring spirit and his inspiration.

Today I listened to disappointment dressed in courage as a woman described her longing and frustration, which broke my heart as sorrow swelled in her eyes though she bravely continued to smile; and I was grateful that she could share her pain, with me today.

Today I watched an old man give up his seat on the train for a young, beautiful woman; and my heart broke because she didnโ€™t thank or even acknowledge him, and then broke again because he smiled at her anyway; and I was grateful for his patience, kindness and humility.

Today a patient unraveled in my office, and broke my heart, as he confessed how the coping behaviour for his stressful life, was destroying his confidence. I was grateful for the opportunity to acknowledge his fears, to offer support and encouragement.

Today I had dinner with three wonderful women, who broke my heart with stories of struggling for things they believe in, and I am grateful for their courage and honesty, the shared laughter and understanding, and the privilege of their friendship.

Today a message broke my heart, an appreciation of some work I have done, a note of thanks for doing what I do, and acknowledgement of how much I care. And I am grateful for the kindness, and to learn that I have made a difference.

Today I missed someone, and it broke my heart that he is no longer there, that I can no longer call to tell him how much, or hear his laughter as he teases me (mercilessly); but I am grateful I have known him, and will never forget him.

Today my heart broke, and I am glad; it broke when I was happy, and it broke when I was sad. I know that I appreciate the joy more because of the pain, that I would rather feel it in entirety, than numb it out and not feel at all, and tomorrow Iโ€™m sure it will break again, and I am grateful.

{Photo sadly uncredited, via Pinterest; words ~Hayley Darby 22.Nov.2012}

11 thoughts on “Heart broken gratitude

  1. Hayley, your courage in feeling what you feel is inspirational. Among my many blessings that I give thanks for today, I include having been connected with you on this amazing little box.

  2. You’re so wonderful Hayley, you’re like a fairytale princess let loose in the real world. You’re a part of wonderful in this sometimes hard and cold world x thank you, for posting everyday and brighten up my day with your writings x

      • and you’re just too kind :3 you cheer me up with every comment, and even make me blush! and all of that, just by using your words! I can only dream to be as inspiring and well writing as you โค x I try to live a fairytale, but sometimes the dark cold world finds a way to crawl in :3

  3. I have your Facebook page set as my homepage so that I can look at something honest and peaceful before delving into work, but this is the first time I have ventured into your blog; and I’m grateful I did. With all of the ranting and poorly thought-out communication the internet seeps into our lives on a daily basis- your words are refreshing, relatable, and serene. Thanks for sharing your gift with us. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Dear Heather, that’s such a lovely message, I’m so flattered to be your home page! Thank YOU for your kind feedback and encouragement, I really appreciate you, and I’m very grateful for your blog-following too! Blessings & love, Hxx

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