Good morning everyone!! Today I woke with a heaviness that pinned me to the mattress, and tried to drag me back to the depths of a dream from which I struggled to emerge, kicking furiously towards the light, fighting my way into consciousness. I lay for a while, noticing my body; rocks in my abdomen and limbs full of lead, whilst a thick fog swirled around my head. The gossamer threads of the dream slipped through my fingers, and letting go made space for thoughts of the day to crash in, ‘must do’ items on my list and responsibility. A peek at the clock, still a novelty since an iphone had replaced several generations of Blackberries, informed me that it was indeed too late to contemplate a lie in, with a message plastered across the screen from a jet-lagged friend. I fell back into the plethora of pillows, staring at the ceiling, but seeing vapour trails across a bright blue sky as my heart leapt at the slightest encouragement. Then I remembered a gift from a colleague yesterday, a ‘gone to the beach’ sign from dear RO, which made me smile as I hung it temporarily on my clinic room door. The clinic is in London, but they know me well, and where my heart is happiest.
I made my way downstairs for coffee, grabbing my robe and laptop to snuggle on the sofa with my latte as I check through correspondence. A breeze tickled the trees outside my window, and I noticed the golden hues are creeping down the branches, as the greenery now fades in the lower boughs, and tinges of copper tint the highest. I ran a hot bath, adding drops of grapefruit, rosemary and juniper to revive me, and sank under the surface to listen to my heart as fatigue seeped out of me. I love bathing, and this morning as I soaked my thoughts flew to the most beautiful bath I’ve had, over a decade ago in Bali. The bath was in a beautiful garden amidst the rooms of a decadent suite, overlooking the valley of rice fields, vibrant green, and lush, extending far into the distance. A clever design preserved the bather’s privacy, and fragrant bowls of tuberose scented the air, whilst delicate frangipani flowers floated on the surface. The bath itself was set within a pond, accessible only by stepping stones, so that I sank into the soothing water as jewel coloured fish swam nonchalantly amidst the lotus flowers surrounding me. It would have been a fabulous place for a honeymoon, but it was absolutely the best place for a broken heart; and I smile in gratitude for the fact that was ‘just an extravagant holiday’ and that the ticket and passport remained in my maiden name, as indeed did I. .
So as I dash to dress for my afternoon clinic, I’m reminded again to trust life a little, since when I didn’t go the way that I wanted, it was because something far better was waiting to happen; if I would only let go of what I thought I deserved, to be rewarded with blessings beyond my imagination. And I smile again as I appreciate how resilient the heart is. Wishing you all a wonderful day, and hope that you too realize that so often we limit ourselves with our aspirations, and really we all should dream a little bigger darling! Mwah! Love & blessings ❤ Hxx