Patience isn’t a virtue I could have even dreamed of pretending to possess in younger years; rather my inability to tolerate incompetence coupled with a desire for everything at the speed of light was testament to my wild and unruly temperament; something I’m not at all proud of. It’s funny how life moulds and shapes us though, and whilst I’m certainly no angel, and couldn’t even call patience a strong point, I am certainly more adept at practicing this virtue than my younger self could have possibly predicted. I do now appreciate that patience is strength, and it’s a quality with which I desire to be associated.

I recognise that a large part of learning is facilitated by the patient, understanding of a process, and that our teachers, by allowing us to come to our own understanding, enable empowerment in obtaining the answers. In my practice as a nutritional therapist, I know instinctively when my patients need more time to describe their circumstances, to reveal some previously hidden from view ‘nugget’, which may be the turning point required in the healing procedure. Listening skills are an absolutely vital tool in my role as a therapist, and I have studied the different models that describe our varying modes, of being fully present with the patient, appreciating their perspective, differentiating assumption and illusion from fact and reality. I believe this training has helped me listen to myself with more awareness; and another valuable tool, reflection has given me an insight into the person I am and what I hope to be. Yes there are times (too many), where I’m suddenly conscious of internally drumming my fingers, pawing at the dirt, ready to launch myself into chasing whatever it is that I should let gently come to me. I still find myself racing at break neck speed due to my inability to plan adequately or trying to squeeze too much into the time that I have; silently (sometimes!) swearing in frustration at the people appearing to delay me, when in reality it is just a transference of the impatience with myself to learn/plan, and those in my path are perfectly right that the world doesn’t revolve around me and my silly dramas.

The lioness within has to be tamed at times, as there is more than one way to skin a cat. Strength requires more than force, it requires an appreciation of timing, and this is something I can see more clearly with maturity that is only afforded by experience. As a woman, I have previously felt compelled to demonstrate my power as equal to men on many occasions, unable to temper my wit or resist demonstrating my intelligence to protect my precious ego from being perceived as gullible, weak, unimportant or stupid. Of course this behaviour just betrayed my insecurity with a desire to impress or be accepted as an equal. How naïve I was to neglect appreciation of my feminine strengths, what a shame that gentleness and grace were not given the air space they rightly deserved, when I chose as my gifts weapons of battle rather than a softer understanding and the power of patience.

In fairness to those I love, it’s a lesson they have struggled to teach me, but like patience itself, it is one of those things we must arrive at from our own understanding via experience, often costly mistakes, and regret at our failings. My father has often urged me to roar a little more quietly, to soften the edges of my sharp resolutions, and allow life to give me so much more than I was chasing for. On the subject of men, my dear friend Mia begs me to drop my shield and sword of the formidable goddess Athena, to let the alluring charms of Aphrodite reign a little in that department; not at all easy considering we all have insights and scars from our histories, but I’m still working on it! The most patience required I think probably concerns being less harsh with ourselves, appreciating our strengths as well as our weaknesses, so that we are aware just where we need to focus our attention to facilitate further development and understanding.

Sometimes we must learn to accept that there is a force with a greater comprehension of timing, and that faith in this while trusting that the life we deserve is so much more meaningful than the one we desire, will find a way of delivering to us the riches our hearts truly crave, often unknowingly. So I urge you to be patient with yourselves, and as I pray for more abundance in this gift, I’m smiling wryly.. time is simply limitless in some aspects. Blessings & love, Hxx

{Hayley Darby 26.Oct.2011}

8 thoughts on “Patience

  1. Hayley, please know that I appreciate that my only “knowledge” of you is what I read. That being said my heart kept crying, ‘be gentle to yourself’, as I read this. And was happy to see that you mention being less harsh with yourself.
    From one you needs patience in so many realms…

  2. This is such a wonderful blog! My life can be described the same way. Now, I have begun to tame my temper and I see how much good it does 🙂 Thank you so much for such beautiful words!

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